The Life and Art of Jean-Paul Niko
Posts tagged cod liver oil
How to travel high and light
Dec 4th
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I travel really light these days. My leather shoulder bag is stuffed with electronic gadgets, ingestible powders, drugs, and not much of anything else.
I use a Macbook Air with a solid-state hard drive, an external half-terabyte passport USB drive, a 16GB Corsair USB flash drive, and an AT&T broadband Internet USB dongle.
I pack a Kindle 2 electronic book reader (international edition), a 32GB iPhone 3GS, a 16GB iPhone 3G (in case the first iPhone breaks or gets stolen), and a Handy Zoom 4n (four channel studio recorder) with an 8GB mini SD card for recording and mixing my music.
I usually leave home with a weeks worth of LivingFuel Super Berry, a jar of Vitamineral Evergreen (the best green powder mix ever made), a bottle of molecularly distilled Norwegian cod liver oil (for Omega-3s), a container of pure creatine monohydrate (for the brain and musculoskeletal system), and some glucosamine sulphate and MSM (for bones and joints).
I keep my pharmaceuticals in an unlabeled pill bottle along with dried rice grains to wick away moisture. These include 300mg Wellbutrin XR pills (for concentration, intelligence, energy, and sex), 15mg generic Buspar tablets (for good humor and sociability), and occasionally, 30mg morphine sulphate tablets (for fun), and 20mg generic Levitra (for more fun).
Somewhere in the bottom of my back, along with a tangle of cables, lives a small bottle with an acetone extraction of pure THC in a 90% alcohol solution for buffering and stability. It beats the hell out of smoking weed!
Finally, I have a notepad and pen, my German passport and American green card, a box of condoms, a toothbrush, an inflatable neck travel pillow, sleeping mask and earplugs, headphones, and a pair of leather gloves for exercise and heavy lifting.
I buy soap, toothpaste, underwear, and socks when I get to wherever I’m going next, and I try to figure out my accommodations on the spot rather than arrange for lodging ahead of my stay. I have a couple of reasons for doing this. One is that I’m not really sure where the best place to stay is until I get there. The other reason is that I can sometimes make fast friends or new lovers on the day of my arrival and I might get offered a place to stay for free.
8gb mini sd card, alcohol solution, bones and joints, cod liver oil, creatine monohydrate, electronic book reader, glucosamine sulphate, iphone, leather gloves, leather shoulder, mini sd card, morphine sulphate, musculoskeletal system, omega 3s, rice grains, smoking weed, sociability, studio recorder, travel pillow, vitamineral
Health Food Rap
Oct 31st
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I ordered four hundred dollars worth of superfoods and supplements
while staying up all night, one night, reading reviews, filtering out the spam,
trying to find a place in New York where I can buy unpasteurized milk
with the rest of the food freaks like I did at the co-op in Cali
before they got raided by the FBI
Drug dealers and dairy farmers locked down in a ten-by-four,
C-block, cold clocking each other at the crack of dawn
I could turn this into a rap song, hillbilly hip-hop,
growing yoghurt, serving it live and raw
right to your black ass, but I digress
Those products have the most hilarious names
vitamineral, living fuel, evergreen…
the ultimate meal is freeze dried and crystalline
I’m drinking cod liver oil and creatine, cause ginseng is so nineties
like tofu which is bad for you unless it’s fermented like tempeh or seitan
or red wine, which is good and bad, but tastes kind of bland
and not nearly as nice as whisky, which I use instead of fruit juice
with the little plastic scoop they were so nice to include,
in every fucking bottle, leaching toxins into the water,
where’s my PH strip to test for acidity, bitch?
